


The Nether

by leggyman



Series: MCYT One-Shots / Short Stories [12]
Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Depression, Everyone Else Is Either Mentioned or Implied, Exile, Gen, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Loneliness, Minecraft In-Universe, Sad TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Self-Worth Issues, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Tommy Makes Friends With The Lava, TommyInnit Angst (Video Blogging RPF), Touch-Starved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-07
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:35:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27932392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leggyman/pseuds/leggyman
Summary: Tommy made friends with the void he used to fear.
Series: MCYT One-Shots / Short Stories [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2000011
Comments: 2
Kudos: 382





	The Nether

It wasn’t his time to die, but that didn’t stop him from wishing it was. The one person who he’d counted on never betraying him sent him away from his home. Sent him away from the country he fought tooth and nail to have exist in the first place. Sent him away from everyone he loved and everyone he foolishly believed loved him. It was probably his fault for not learning his lesson after being stabbed in the back so many times. It was probably his fault that he  _ was  _ stabbed in the back so many times.

The first occurrence of many was when his enemy and his amnesiac dead brother walked through the Nether Portal. He was alone, watching everyone around him (even if they were only there to gloat and torment him) go so freely to the place he’s always called home. He knew that stepping foot in that portal would result in his death, as he’d been warned so many times.

It wouldn’t be on his terms, though, if that was the end of his story. That was the first time he greeted the abyss and wondered if the warmth that would envelop his skin would feel like the comfort he so desperately needed.

His masked enemy, whose return he failed to even notice, pulled him back from the edge of the pathway, stating that it wasn’t his time. 

When he’s asked them all when to know that it was too much, they’d laughed the question off as if it was some unimportant joke. It didn’t really matter. He already knew the answer.

The one-time event turned into a regular errand. He’d sit at the hub, registering the sounds of the purple gateway to escaping the crushing loneliness he had, staring into the roiling depths of molten fire. If he reached just far enough out, only holding on by fingertips and only half-heartedly hoping that his grasp wouldn’t slip, he could almost imagine feeling it. Being that close to his own chosen end was the only time where the numbing cold couldn’t reach him.

He wondered if the void would change to a pool of obsidian if he cried enough.

He hoped not.

He was caught many more times pondering his own end by a variety of faces. Most left him to his own devices, acting as if they hadn’t noticed his presence. Some jerked him away from the edge, taking the situation into their own hands. A handful talked him away from the precipice, instead prompting him to give a tour of his new ‘home’ or join them on a trip through the hellscape to find supplies they already had stacks of in chests at home. A few scolded him through tears, pleading for him to apologize for scaring them, helplessness shining through their eyes. Two sat down on the ledge and stared with them, face reflecting wonder and not noticing how his reflected longing. One saw him and immediately went back through the portal, not alerting their (former) best friend of their presence.

There wasn’t anything they could do when he was alone, though. He was alone so often.

Staring into the lava, legs dangling over the edge of the bridge, his mind supplied him with a plentiful amount of questions. Would he return back as a ghost? Could he forget all of his wrongdoings committed when he was alive and finally be happy? Would his death even make a difference? He’d been exiled without a second thought. Even if he claimed his own final life, he’d still be the same useless and annoying  _ child _ he’d always been. They’d exile his corpse the same way he’d been exiled twice before. 

He’d be just as lonely, missing vital memories and doomed to an after-lifetime of watching the world through a blurry set of glasses.

He decided that he didn’t care. Either way, he’d be watching the Nether Portal back to happiness that’s been forbidden not just by threats but also by the hatred those on the other side held for him for the rest of time. He decided that one way was mercy for him and that same way was mercy for everyone else.

The last thought that crossed his mind as his descent to the fiery depths began is the one person he once had faith would never betray him. He hoped that finally, for once in his life, he wouldn’t disappoint his Tubbo.

Reaching his target was the first time he’d smiled since he was guided by axe-point from every place and every person he’d ever referred to as home. Finally, he was warm.

**_TommyInnit tried to swim in lava._ **

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know if I missed any tags, as this is not exactly a fun fic by any means.
> 
> This recent arc has got me in my feels, if you couldn't tell. I also love writing introspection pieces, so let me know what you thought, please!
> 
> Thank you for reading. Speedrun loving yourself.


End file.
